I’m Not Travelling Solo...
I’m Traveling With Debt
Living on a budget is challenging when money management isn’t my forte; however, I am determined to learn and get better at it.
Going back to my Core experiences with money, I grew up poor and can’t remember ever handling it until I had a my first job at VONS when I was 16 years old.
I had this stockpile of cash in my desk drawer that eventually I spent it entirely on friends party entrance fees and mind expanding and altering substances.
Eventually, I was living a socially acceptable life working 40 hours a week, taking courses at a community college and struggling to pay rent in San Diego Low Income Housing and could barely purchase groceries that nourished my body.
Fed up with that draining routine, I turned to a job that supplied me with more freedom and income than I could ever imagine.
Stripping allowed me creative freedom and expression beyond my wildest dreams.
As money rolled in, it rolled out just as quickly.
If I were to give advice to a stripper, I’d tell her to get a financial advisor and learn about money management, NOW.
I did save a nice portion of my earnings, but big ticket purchases were inevitable.
So there I was, making gobs of money and having nothing to really show for it.
Looking at my relationship to money and the beliefs that I have...
I'm not attached to money, but I haven't valued it enough to allow it to work for me.
For 10 years I’ve been dancing around this unhealthy relationship to money.
Holding onto this unconscious belief that is linked to my worthiness.
Today I acknowledge this truth, publicly, in honor of my ability to choose and change.
This has been a struggle for me for many years, as I have fluctuated between having money and not having any to my name.
I’ve been managing this feast or famine mentality.
My mother taught me to say “I’m saving money” rather than “I don’t have any money”.
That was a helpful adjustment for my mind to grasp, but I still struggle with the big picture of over-committing myself to the money I don’t have, because the prospect of having it quickly is a possibility.
Becoming a minimalist has been part of my process of healing my relationship to money.
Breaking my life down to the bare basics to practically start over and re-build has been what I imagined would help me the most.
So here I am, with most of my belongings in my Passat Wagon, random income, a decent amount of debt, and the desire to be completely liberated.
I’m traveling around with the opportunity to strip in various clubs around the United States(because that’s the way the business is) to fund my monthly payments, gas, food, and social outings.
Ideally, I want to shift the way I fund my life, so I can fully heal my relationship with money.
There are money coaches out there I’ve got my eye on, like Jolie Dawn.
I’ve been following her on Social Media for over a year and telling myself I would save up to hire her to gain a new perspective on how to manage money, but I just can’t seem to catch up on any financials I’ve already committed to.
Today is a day of being vulnerable and sharing that I haven't been managing money well.
I create my own rituals to help me heal my relationship to money.
I will consciously choose my beliefs about money from now on.
I will rework the ideas I have about money to include properties of support and abundance.
I will integrate the flow of giving and receiving into my relationship and beliefs about the function of money.
Thank you for bearing witness to my process.
Writing is just the beginning.
I forgive myself for not being farther along.
I accept myself for where I am now.
I breathe in fresh air.
I exhale doubts.
I inhale opportunities to make money.
I exhale actions that provide financial freedom.
I inhale my wholeness and worthiness of receiving money.
I exhale releasing money in support of myself.
Aimee, 30 years old views life as a gift and an opportunity to live your dreams. Stick around to hear how she does it and supports you in doing it, too.